I know that if every single wish of every single person is fulfilled every single time, the world would collapse. The system, supposedly, just does not work that way. How do I know this? Can’t recall how! But I am sure you would agree with me on this. Nevertheless, its incredibly heart-breaking whenever our wishes and prayers (most sincere ones, from most innocent hearts and with great intensity!!) remain unfulfilled. Its almost enough for one to stop believing in God and prayers altogether. ALMOST. Then what is there that our minds and hearts still hold on to, that does not deter us from having faith in God, the Superior One, the Great Cosmic Power – whatever you call it? In some cases, the faith in Him, in fact, deepens!
Funnily enough, it came as a surprise to me the first time I realized that maybe God really does not listen to my prayers all the time! hehe.. I mean, of course, God is really busy. And to think that He would be available just to listen to me every single time is quite preposterous. Even if wishes do get fulfilled, what then? You will live happily ever after? NO SIR. It brings with it its own set of problems. There starts a new chain of events, mistakes, penance, and more wishes stem from them, and on and on it goes. Endlessly.
But even this vicious circle is important in order to keep the life on this planet moving. I understand the reason behind this process..but it just gets really exhausting and frustrating at times. A strange, menacing feeling of heaviness sets in. The only solution, as I see it, is meditation. Losing your ego in order to unite with The Ultimate, The Absolute. And it’s beautiful!! Having been felt it for over a month, I know its the only solution. But the path is not smooth. And you cannot take shortcuts either! At times it gets pretty intense. After a while, you feel like taking a break, getting back to your old ways and thought patterns. But there is one thing that I realized that was totally AWESOME was how exactly the feeling of loosening up and surrendering yourself to God and just being lost in His thoughts is similar to getting drunk!! I mean bottoms up vodka and 4-5 glasses of neat whiskey like drunk! Amazing!