I believe I am the sort of person who rebels furiously when cornered, pressurized, underestimated, unacknowledged. I am not among those who succumb well. I did succumb at one point of my life. That was when I stopped being myself and tried so hard, so damn hard to be what everyone around me wanted me to be. And let me tell you – it is very disheartening. How can I be not ME? How is that done? What worth is it- not being ME? I am sure we are born to be ourselves and not exactly like each other?! Isn’t it natural that we be different, unique in our own ways? That’s what makes life on this planet so interesting- because everyone is different. Of course, we are from same species, we are all children of Mother Nature, but yet so wonderfully different! That is a good thing!! It’s good!! Then why sometimes, you feel that people around you are hell bent on seeing a “supposedly better version” of YOU? Why do they want to mold you , break you down, tear you apart until they have a little piece of YOU designed to suit their needs? They do not care about the whole YOU. You, as a unique, wonderful human being can go to hell, just mend the part they need from you. YIKES!! Can you imagine what it would be like to physically give away your body parts for their convenience! It is impossible! So why do it mentally?
OK, you’ll say life would be doubly hard if we do not do that at all. To some level, everyone does that, whether intentionally or unintentionally. Like, you are supposed to give your brains and skills to the company you work for. You can’t cheat there. But hey, they at least pay you for sucking out your blood! haha! Its like a necessary evil. (And those who absolutely love their jobs…count your blessings!) And its a completely different topic which I am not going to go into. I am talking about things at personal level- like in relationships.
Research shows that social relationships- both quality and quantity- affect mental health, health behavior, physical health and mortality risk (Social Relationships and Health: A Flashpoint for Health Policy, written by Umberson and Montez, 2010). Undoubtedly, relationships are hard. Sometimes you feel blessed and lucky to have all your loved ones around you. Yet there are times when you feel you have hit rock bottom and just can’t wait to get away from them as far as possible.
What I am stressing here is definitely not that you should shrug all responsibilities out of sheer laziness and falsely term it as ‘being independent’ or ‘living life my style..rest all can go to hell.’ NO. Being an adult also constitutes being able to handle things, to take charge, to learn what life teaches you and evolve as human beings. But what often happens is, you get too engrossed or too eager or even too pressurized in managing the responsibility part that you tend to forget to hold on to your own distinct identity. Situations do not arise in our lives so that we completely forget who we are and become someone else. This is life, after all. There is no set formula that we can use to solve the problem. We all have our own unique formulas in our heads to help solve all kinds of situations.
That is why I strongly recommend a commonly used phrase- BE YOURSELF. It can be incredibly tricky to be yourself, but it is ALWAYS worth fighting for. Take out time to do things you love- read a book, listen to music, dance, go out with friends, pursue a hobby- just anything that helps you unwind. When confronted in a situation, stand up for yourself if you know you haven’t done anything wrong. Establish a meaningful communication to eliminate misunderstandings. Get help in managing your time better. Make a schedule. Stop killing yourself by trying to be what others want you to be.
Chances are..you may live longer by BEING YOURSELF.